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Joke of the Day

"If Earth is the third planet from Sun after Mercury and Venus Doesn't that make every country a third world country?"

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two."

"Why are Jewish Men Circumcised? Because Jewish Women won't buy anything unless it's 25% off. You're welcome Reddit"

"Do you know why there are no jokes about the Jonestown Massacre? The punchline is too long."

"Why were the ants dancing on top of the jar of jam? It said ""twist to open"""

"Eventually, the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons. Teenage girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphics."

"Solar radiation has turned the American flags on the moon pure white... Now it looks like France landed there..."

"So I'm out in the woods taking a shit when... ...a bear strolls up, cocks his head with a funny expression, and says, ""I never knew you guys did that."""

"Grandma used to say ""Respect yourself & others will too,"" but she also used to say ""Damn N*ggers,"" so I don't know what to believe :("

"-What do you think I should buy, a cow or a bike? _You'd look pretty funny riding a cow...but you'd look much worst milking a bike"