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Joke of the Day

"How many dead hooker's in your basement does it take to change a light bulb? Well, it's not 4"

"There are two types of people in this world. Those who finish what they start"

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because number 7 is Luis Suarez, and he'll eat 9, 10, 11 and the rest of your team. (Disclaimer: The joke above is only applicable when he plays for Liverpool)"

"In or On ? Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?"

"Why was the Egyptian boy confused? Because his daddy was a mummy"

"It's too bad the meaning of life is 141 characters."

"President Obama says his daughters need minimum wage jobs to ""learn what it means to work."" May I suggest the same for members of Congress?"

"What's the difference... ...between a piano, a fish, and glue? You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish ""What about the glue?"" I knew you'd get stuck on that."

"[heaven's IT department] Ok, I see why your computer's crashing. Have you been closing doors again? God: Yes, why? Too many open windows"

"I'm going to a costume party as jesus. What are some good jesus party quotes I can use?"