91292

Joke of the Day

"A truck with the slogan ""We always go the extra mile"" took the last parking spot so I wrote on it ""because we missed the exit"" as a revenge."

"What do you call cheese that's not yours ? Nacho cheese"

"I don't understand the big deal about same sex marriage Ask any married couple, they'll tell you the sex has been the same for years"

"""For my next illusion"" the magician announces: ""Free will!"" Everyone starts clapping but they don't know why"

"The difference between a girl in church and a girl in the bathtub? one has hope in her soul."

"5: I cleaned my room. Me: Great! Do you feel good? Sometimes it makes me feel good when I clean something. 5: No. Next time you can do it."

"I get so many panic attacks, that If I was a wrestler my signature move would be 'The Chest Clutch', where I get pinned as I grab my chest."

"How to Tie a Noose by Sue E. Side"

"People at work say i'm unnecessarily rude ... but i say fuck those cunts."

"A Man Has a Heart Attack on a Plane... Stewardess: Is **anybody** here a doctor?! Man: (Raising Hand) I'm a vegan."