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Joke of the Day

"Usain bolt is very good at running... He had tons of practice trying to escape the police when he was a kid."

"Men used to slay dragons, and here I am shuffling around like a penguin with my pants around my ankles looking for extra toilet paper."

"Hey baby, is that a gun in my pocket? Get in the van."

"I'm doing market research for a telescope manufacturer, I run the focus group."

"A Jewish boy asks his father for $20. His father says, ""Ten dollars? What do you need five dollars for?"""

"What do you call a trailer park in a tornado? Wind chimes."

"I once dumped a cross-eyed chick Thought she was seeing someone else."

"Why did the agnostic receive a lighter sentence? He had no prior convictions."

"Don't ever let anybody outshine you in life. If that means arriving at someone's funeral in a casket, then so be it."

"What do women and hurricanes have in common? When they come, they're wet and wild. When they leave, they take your house and your car"