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Joke of the Day

"I'm doing market research for a telescope manufacturer, I run the focus group."

"Now that the Olympics are over, Michael Phelps can finally be released back to his natural habitat; the couch with a bong."

"Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike."

"I'm going to sit here and wink at you. It's going to be a very long wink. With both eyes. Please, by all means, go on with your story."

"What do you get when a dyslexic tries to make a gif? Peanut Butter."

"How do you organize a party in space? You Planet"

"What did one lonely penis say to the other? I just want to belong."

"What's the highest point in the ocean? The Marijuanas Trench."

"What do you call the man with a lisp who drowned? A philosopher. Cuz he's a deep thinker."

"I miss being a sperm. I wish life was simple again."