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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story, and a Catholic priest? One goes limp when a child walks in the room."

"What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow."

"My wife and I used to describe our marriage as 'forever', now we both prefer the term 'ad nauseam'."

"Why are mods the worst? [Removed]"

"Hey, I have a good joke about pussy Oh wait... you might not get it..."

"Don't take drugs... for granted."

"Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village ? Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!"

"What do you call a Beatles fan who happens to be a Chinese sadomasochistic member of the American Army? Yellow Submarine"

"We get it - ""Bacardi"" rhymes with ""party,"" ""bottle"" rhymes with ""model,"" and ""sex"" rhymes with ""text."" You rappers can stop rapping now."

"My naked wife fell on the floor as she was climbing into bed. 5 second rule?"