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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I have to park in a bad neighbourhood I leave my Blackberry in plain sight so people know there's nothing worth stealing in my car"

"There's a sign at the airport in Pristina Welcome to Kosovo Your car is already here"

"My friends accused me of making jokes about David Bowie I said ""Oh no, not me"""

"What kind of car does Bill Cosby drive? A Honda quaalude. (Credit to my girlfriend)"

"[getting fired from NASA] Is it because I kept saying ""Technically we're already in space?"""

"I was going to tell a Nirvana joke, but... Nevermind."

"I got arrested for having sex in a park. Luckily, I know some guys so I only got away with necrophilia."

"Rape jokes aren't funny, but ... I got some hilarious rape seed material."

"Groin cream... Not suitable for those with a nut allergy."

"[interview] Boss: Your CV says eggs, milk, bread Me: That's right [cut to supermarket] Wife: Excuse me, where are the attention to details?"