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Joke of the Day

"Nothing says I mean business' like using a grocery cart at the liquor store."

"What do you call a basement full of SJW's? A whine cellar."

"I buy all my guns from a guy called T-Rex He's a small arms dealer"

"An original joke about Mathew and Not-Mathew. Me:Mathew and Not-Mathew were on a boat. Mathew fell off the boat. Who was left? You:Not-Mathew. Me:Yeah Mathew was the one who fell out. Idiot."

"I was wondering how close the twister was... The answer blew me away"

"Why did the liberal go to the gynecologist? She was feelin' the Bern!"

"how did the bananas get away from the cops? They split up."

"""Marines!"" ""SIR, YES SIR!"" ""Get ready to deploy at 05:00 sharp--HUGHES WHERE IN THE SHIT ARE YOU GOING!?"" ""That's too early I quit."""

"What do you call an Englishmam in the Euro championship final A referee"

"How many tickles does it take to make an octupus laugh? Ten tickles."