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Joke of the Day
"My mom bought a new vacuum, she says it really sucks."
Next Joke
"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile (Im going to fucking hell. I shouldnt have laughed at this so hard.)"
"Why did Jose push his wife off the cliff? Tequila..."
"TIL: Colonel Sanders had a younger brother who was a plumber. Urinal Sanders"
"My kids constantly yell at me whenever I try take their pictures, and I tell 'em: ""You're gonna need them in 20 years for your Throw Back Thursdays updates""..... whatever!!"
"What do you call two bananas? Slippers"
"Did you hear about the Mexican guy who cheated on his wife? It was really sad and now he only sees his kids on weekends."
"Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture? No! Did he hurt the cows? No he just grazed them!"
"""Sorry, I fail to see how I 'misled' you when my profile CLEARLY says I'm 'a total cat person'?"" - half-cat/half-person being after bad date"
"What did the vet say about the maimed donkey? Wow, that ass sure took a pounding"