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Joke of the Day

"A dog runs for senator... He has no previous experience in pawlitics"

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"Why is hockey the bloodiest sport? It has three periods."
"Why did the fence get busted for having stolen goods? Because it got grassed up by the lawn."
"This hating of people who breast feed in public places has to stop! I'll raise my dog however I like."
"When Jesus went to heaven technically he was moving back in with his parents.."
"""Hi. I'm an insane maniac."" - People who write more than three sentences to describe an Instagram photo"
"What kid blows you and gets you all wet? El Nino"
"Whats the most politically divided animal? The polar bear.. I'll see myself out..."
"I am sad I can no longer get Arnold Palmer's at restaurants anymore But it looks like I can get an Arnold Embalmer now."
"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two. The trouble's getting them in there."