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Joke of the Day

"Nixon: ""I bet you can't run a more scandal-ridden presidency than me"" ""Hold my beer"" ""Sure.. Wait this isnt beer"""

"/r/programming joke On a scale if 0 to 1, does it hurt?"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I wouldn't pay $60 to have a garbanzo bean on my face!"

"Facebook is pretty much the Wal-Mart of the internet."

"How to you make a Hormone? You kick her in the groin."

"What did Whitney Houston's coroner say as he unbuckled his belt? It's not right, but it's OK"

"[at dinner] Wife: This is terrible. Me: Horrible. Waiter: Hey folks, how's your food? (simultaneously) Wife: Amazing! Me: Fantastic!"

"I read a couple of interesting articles... ""A"" and ""The"""

"Around my neighborhood I'm affectionately known as ""Please stop taking pictures of my flowers you weirdo."""

"Did you hear about the Power Plant that was bad for the environment all year? He got coal for Christmas."