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Joke of the Day

"Wanna hear an embarrassing story about the time I forgot something important? I forgot the punchline. Sorry, I haven't been this embarrassed since that one time."

"What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow I have no idea but I wouldn't try milking it."

"[Possible GOT Spoilers] What's Rickon Stark's favourite band? One Direction"

"My husband is the nicest guy that I could ever dream of (murdering)."

"I like long walks along the beach until the drugs wear off & I realize I'm actually crawling through the sand at the local construction site"

"Me: Yeah man, got her right where I want her Bartender: Oh yeah? Me: Yup, sitting at home while the cable man works on th ::rushes home::"

"The recipe said ""Set the oven to 180 degrees,"" so I did, but now I can't open it because the door faces the wall."

"What do you call a scientific measuring instrument with degrees? A graduated cylinder. -------------------------------------------------------------------- This is the only joke I've ever thought of."

"Can you identify yourself!! Police officer: ""Can you identify yourself, sir?"" Driver pulls out his mirror and says: ""Yes, it's me."""

"What's the gift that keeps on giving? AIDS"