90522

Joke of the Day

"This belongs on r/NoSleep Because will have no sleep doing their homework tonight."

"[interrogation] COP: So you play the tuba do ya? ""No, the violin"" COP: Treble maker eh?"

"Just found this sub the other day and I've come to this realization... Currently, this subreddit seems to be in quite the pickle."

"[calls wife] honey help 'whats wrong?' im done shopping at the door store but now i cant tell which one is the exit 'ok just stop crying'"

"""Please refrain, Angry God, from using the Newspaper of Doom"" the Spider King cries as he orders another sacrifice into your sleeping mouth"

"My mom accidentally killed my boyfriend this weekend. She didn't recognize him when she was canning pickles."

"What do you call a bra stretched across a road? A booby-trap"

"I'm lactose intolerant, too. Do the pills work for you? It's a crap shoot."

"Earth got put in Milky Way Special Ed for being bi-polar."

"a bunch of us teens are going out to the forest to burn a piece of paper that says 'responsibilities' on it. for symbolism"