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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a man with a very long, pointy penis? Lance. I'll see myself out."

"Why don't you stamp e-mails? Because your foot would go right through the computer screen!"

"Why did Dracula miss lunch? Because he didn't fancy the stake."

"What's it called when a 12 year old African boy that's crying? A mid-life crisis"

"""Man of Steel"" is about a boy learning how to control his alien body. It is a two and a half hour allegory about puberty."

"Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? Because the P is silent!"

"Do penises and testicles have much in common? Not really. There's a vas deferens between the two."

"By the time you finish reading this tweet, you will be slightly closer to death than you were before. I hope it was worth it."

"Dear parents of college students on Spring Break, Congrats!!! Many of you are about to be grandparents!!!"

"My husband's safe word is 'CRAMP!'"