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Joke of the Day
"What do women and rocks have in common? You can skip the flat ones."
Next Joke
"How do you blind an Asian woman? Put a windshield in front of her."
"you know what never gets old? Children who died at a young age."
"Ever been in the middle of writing a great tweet and think, did I just run someone over?"
"Girl said she wanted to have my babies so I invited her over. But she didn't look happy when I told her to put them to bed by 8 and went out"
"Why'd the blonde snort a line of Splenda? She thought it was diet coke"
"Why was the archeologist sad? His career was in ruins."
"X/y If Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner were to go missing, would they put his/her picture on a half n half carton?"
"Men are four times more likely than women to commit suicide, even though women attempt it more. So men are better at it! \- George Carlin"
"Catch a baby opossum, give it a 12-hr sedative, and hide it in the glove compartment of the car of the person who's dating your ex."