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Joke of the Day

"You know you're getting old when you go to a new doctor... ...and part of the new patient exam is carbon dating."

"What does the weather do when Hitler's around? It heils."

"A poem for Valentine's Day Love is the fart of every heart, for when held in it pains the host, but when released pains others most."

"Give a man a fish and chances are you won't be asked to be in charge of buying a gift ""from all of us"" anymore."

"It says here on your resume that you're ""good at traps,"" could you expand on that while I investigate this pile of leaves on the floor?"

"If you don't get the joke look it up. Your mother was a hamster and your smelt of elderberries!"

"What's the difference between a condom and a coffin? Well, both carry stiffs, but one's for coming and the other's for going."

"I ate a donkey steak today It tasted like ass"

"I took your girlfriend out for some Chipotle last week...... guacamole wasn't the only thing she wanted extra on the side."

"I am completely obsessed with collecting magazines. What can I say, I have issues."