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Joke of the Day

"A Star Wars scene where drunk Luke and Han admit they have no idea what Chewie and R2 are saying, and then they both just start laughing"

"What did Obama say when he was alone? Obamaself"

"Be honest, do you think I could pull off tax evasion, or is it only cool when rich people do it?"

"So I was at the bar the other night exchanging pleasantries with an attractive woman. She said she would like to read my palm... Okay! She takes my hand and asks... ""Do you come here often?"""

"Police are looking for a man who refuses to update his PDF reader. He is described as 32, single and has no fixed adobe."

"Having a ""20 items or less"" express lane at Wal-Mart is pointless when your customers don't know how to count."

"You can't spell Chipotle without E. Coli"

"What do you call it when the robot from Futurama gets in a minor car accident while wearing a dress? A gender bender Bender fender bender."

"You walk into my bedroom... I'm laying naked with a platter of nachos on my chest. You get punched while trying to take some of my nachos."

"Say what you will about Fidel Castro, at least he didn't use a private email server."