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Joke of the Day

"So I was at the bar the other night exchanging pleasantries with an attractive woman. She said she would like to read my palm... Okay! She takes my hand and asks... ""Do you come here often?"""

"What did the wife say to the undertaker when he started hitting his broken down car? Stop beating a dead hearse!"

"[dog social media] Post: *picture of a cat falling out of a tree* caption - ""woof, woof, woof."" Dog reading: hahahahahaha. *retwoofs*"

"What did the Italian dressing say to the French dressing? Nothing. Dressings don't have arms"

"What did the angry Indian man say at the bakery? I'm having naan of it."

"Asked for Cheez-its Wife buys Cheese Nips Now she's sitting in the corner thinking about what she did."

"Did you hear about the hillbilly who asked his friends to give him their burnt-out light bulbs. He wanted to start a dark room."

"If you think meeting your girlfriends parents is hard just remember? Someone is going to try to date Eminems daughter"

"God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan"""

"What has 2 eyes, 2 belly buttons and 2 legs? 2 pirates."