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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow? I have no idea but I wouldn't try milking it."

"How's college supposed to prepare you for the real world? All it does is make you tired and stressed out and anxious and nevermind I get it."

"Are you ready for TheDivision's upcoming DLC? TheAddition? If not, you might like its already-existing-but-cut-for-later content TheSubstraction."

"Someone please invent a service to grocery shop for you but also cook it into a meal and also the meal is pizza oh it's pizza delivery"

"Why did Minotaur win an interior design award? Because his home was a maze thing."

"No adult entertainment companies around here that offer fireman strippers, so we're starting a fire and hoping a slutty one shows up."

"There was once a cat on Mars But Curiosity killed the cat"

"The chinese dierector A chinese movie crew was preparing for a movie. The dierector was Phill Ming"

"wife: you're listening to too much theatrical heavy metal Me: behold! The weaver of lies! A dark seamstress of shadows lurks amongst us"

"Why didn't the lazy guy have sex? Because his dick was just too hard"