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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a lesbian driving a Ford Windstar full of penises? A dick-van dyke. -Credit to Louis CK"

"Why do they call dogs K-9? Because K-10 are for pussies."

"What kind of bell doesn't ring? A dumbbell."

"What happened to the heretical chef? He was burnt at the steak."

"What did water say when it found out hydrogen is a diatomic? H2? Oh!"

"Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a note on my windscreen which said, 'Parking Fine.' That was nice..."

"What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? Dam."

"French People and France When god created France it was beautiful, and great. The rest of the world was so jeaulous...so to make it equal god created French People."

"I just want to apologize to all the guys I dated BEFORE I started using Prozac. And to their wives. And their local fire departments."

"What did soviet russians use for lighting before they started using candles? Electricity."