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Joke of the Day

"The other day the lifeguard told me to stop peeing in the pool... I got such a fright I nearly fell in."

"Will carrying a torch save you from an attacking bear? Depends on how fast you can carry it."

"I always cry after sex. God, I fcuking hate prison!!!!!!!"

"Did you hear about the rabbi who had a wallet made out of foreskins? He could rub it and turn it into a suitcase."

"Son: ""Jim Morrison sucks"" Dad: ""Hey, what did I tell you about slamming The Doors?"""

"What is the first thing Trump will do when is the President Build a wall around the White House and make all the visitors pay for it!"

"Olympic Results for Sailing are out: The British have taken the Gold medal. The French have taken the Silver medal. The Somalians have taken the boats."

"Toilet paper and my iPhone have a lot in common... both are essential when I take a s$it."

"I have a job circumcising elephants at the zoo... The pay sucks, but the tips are great!"

"Eating at this new Hitler-themed breakfast place, Luftwaffles."