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Joke of the Day

"[at the vets] He's really bad. He can't fly. ""He's a cat though."" [very sarcastically] oh I'm sorry is this the vets or the excuses clinic?"

"Why did Jesus Christ go to the doctor? His resurrection lasted more than four hours."

"How to get rid of crabs First, shave off half your pubes. Then light the other half on fire, as they run to the shaved side, stab them with a knife."

"What happened to the witch with an upside down nose? Every time she sneezed her hat blew off."

"Your Honor it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow! Was it a Jersey cow? I don't know I didn't see her license plate!"

"What do you call a group of rabbits backing up? A Receding hairline"

"What do you call an illegal immigrant and a pedophile fighting? Alien Vs Predator"

"My ex can't take his new girlfriend to basketball games because she gets pissed when the whole stadium makes fun of her by yelling REBOUND!"

"Which band does Donald Trump dislike the most? Foreigner."

"i wanted som fried chicken but i didnt have any chicken so i fried an egg adn waited a few years"