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Joke of the Day

"It's too tight Girl:Its 2 tight Boy:Dont worry,Ill do it slowly, Gal:Push it in, Boy:Ah..I cant, Gal:Its painful, Boy:Forget it. . . . . Well buy new WEDDING RING!"

"*crawls up from backseat* *slowly pulls off paper bag from head* What? No... I'm not embarrassed by your driving"

"How do you starve a black person? The same way you starve a white person you racist piece of shit"

"I had to file a sexual harassment claim against a squirrel in the park yesterday... ...he wouldn't stop trying to grab my nut sack."

"Me: did you get into my weed again? Wife *dipping a pop tart in ranch dressing* what?"

"Immigrants after Trump's election be like... [removed]"

"My friend from Pakistan said he hates his job and can't take it anymore ""It will get better"", I said. ""You have your whole life ahead of you. You're only 12 years old."""

"I hate the people who shout ""THIS IS THE POLICE, OPEN THE DOOR YOU CREEP"". Who plays those kind of jokes anymore? You're scaring my wife. She's only 12, jeez."

"Scientists have proved that there are two things in the air that cause women to get pregnant. Their legs."

"Management tip - only hire bald guys. They don't have anything going on besides work."