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Joke of the Day

"hey wat was lenard nimoys favorite pet william ratner his rat"

"*Steals parking spot from guy backing in* Him:*middle finger* Me: [rolls down window] I SEE THAT YOU'RE NOT MARRIED. I ALSO AM NOT MARRIED"

"What did the necrophile say to his ex-girlfriend? ""I only loved you for your body!"""

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef. The Laughing Stock joke reminded me of this one."

"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito will stop sucking after you slap it."

"Where do you find monster snails? On the end of monsters fingers."

"Shit. Damn it. A bumper sticker just changed my entire worldview, again. This happens like 3 times a day."

"If you feel like your parents didn't hug you enough as a child then it's probably because they didn't really want you. Good talk."

"Just got my wife a matching bag and belt set for her birthday. Let's hope the vacuum cleaner works better now."

"A friend of mine is so politically correct.... At the deli he is afraid to ask for "" white American "" cheese."