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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris *hates* Raymond."

"Shout out to hotel maids changing sheets on February 15th."

"Why Does the Pope wear Boxers? He doesn't want to look down on the unemployed."

"Despite hating tomatoes, I was a tomato in a school play. I put my personal beliefs aside and nailed the role because I was a professional."

"I hate those stupid Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves!"

"[installing program] Operation Status: 1 min left Me: Yes! Finally! *30 minutes later* Operation Status: 60 mins left Me: Wait. What?"

"Inspired by T.G.I. Fridays, I opened a restaurant called C.L.I. Tuesdays. No one could find it."

"Kate on Facebook can't believe the ordacity of some people. I can't believe the audacity of people who use big words that they can't spell."

"BLONDE BICYCLE Q: Why did the blonde run with the bike? A: It was going too fast for her to get on."

"What's black and doesn't work? Decaffeinated coffee"