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Joke of the Day

"How is God just like a regular man? If you're not on your knees, he's not interested and you know what they say, abstinence makes the Church grow fondlers."

"I was going to make one of those Bitstrips cartoons, but then I decided to pick the lint out of my belly button instead. I'm pretty sure I came out ahead"

"How to make your girl feel special: 1) Write down how you feel about your drink or drug of choice. 2) Put her name on it & give it to her."

"What do you call a Punjabi fellow stuck in the middle of a shark-filled ocean? Amandeep trouble."

"What the person on the street corner approaching me w a pamphlet doesn't understand is I want the world to end"

"Deaf people have no idea why the rest of us think farts are funny."

"What do you call an IS-leader on a motorcycle? Abu Bikr"

"70% of my enemies were once my friends."

"How can you make a gay man scream twice? Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains."

"I tried to do stand up comedy Didn't work so well since I'm in a wheelchair."