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Joke of the Day
"what does r/jokes and the big bang theory have in common it's not funny 90% of the time"
Next Joke
"[faulty megaphone] LISTEN MAN, I {dont} THINK YOU SHOULD DO IT. THERE'S {no} HOPE IF YOU DO. [bangs megaphone on hand] JUST {dont} KILL THEM"
"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean."
"How do you stop a black kid from jumping on the bed? Put velcro on the ceiling"
"Sometimes, during the movie previews, I'll turn to the stranger sitting next to me and whisper, ""We should really go see that together."""
"What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny."
"When birds fly in V formation why is one side longer than the other? They have more birds on that side. #scienceded"
"Do hairy people get bed head all over? Ma'am, I just called to see if you're happy with your cell phone provider. But probably they do."
"Man: What can I do you for? Woman: a bottle of wine and cab fare"
"Humpty Dumpty had a great fall But his winter wasn't so hot..."