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Joke of the Day

"Dear future self, No, you weren't robbed. You left your house like this. Sincerely, You, you dumb slob."

"Keep your friends close and your enemies in urns."

"What kind of Lettuce do serve on the Titanic? Iceberg Lettuce! :D"

"What's the Middle East's favorite candy? YemenHeads"

"There's a really annoying moth in my room. It's been on my Silence of the Lambs poster for ages now."

"What's the difference between a kindergarten class and an ISIS camp? I don't know man, I just fly the drone."

"I don't usually talk to strangers but when I do its because I'm at the zoo and someone called a tortoise a turtle."

"My reaction to jokes where the punchline is [removed] after seeing so many of them [removed]"

"Why can't blondes count to 70? Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful."

"Hotels are keeping the shower cap industry afloat."