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Joke of the Day

"Every time I put on my striped socks I always have an ominous feeling that today is the day that a house will drop on me."

"The world has gotten so politically correct that I don't know what is appropriate to throw at a crying baby in a restaurant anymore."

"Incest... A game the whole family can play!"

"Teacher- ""what does a chicken give you?"" Students- ""Meat!"" Teacher- ""Good! Now what does the pig give you?"" Students- ""Bacon!"" Teacher- ""Great! Now what does a fat cow give you?"" Students- ""Homework!"""

"An Australian man living by the cliff has prevent over 150 suicides, during the 50 years he has lived there... ... by shooting them himself."

"Can we hold off on finding a cure for cancer for a minute and focus on getting the timing right on automatic faucets in public restrooms?"

"How many senior medical consultants does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one. He holds up the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around him."

"The worst five words are ""can I have a bite."""

"I'm gradually figuring out what the best lighting options are for my house. It's a process of illumination."

"What is DJ Khaled's favorite number? 11, because it is another 1."