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Joke of the Day

"New York City is the only place where sound travels faster than light. I always hear the horn before the light turns green."

Next Joke
 
"""911 what's your emergency?"" ""Yeah, I've got so many questions about bees."" *sighs* ""Please hold for the president."""
"A man walks into a bar. It knocks him out cold."
"I heard somewhere that wanking with a dead arm feels better... Totally ruined that funeral."
"Liquor probably won't fix your problems... but it's worth a shot."
"How do you stop a monster from smelling? Cut off his nose."
"When everyone around you has their phone out... I guess you could say... you're in a phony world... I am so sorry guys."
"What's the best thing about dating a black girl? You'd never have to meet the father."
"What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive right now? Probably clawing at the inside of his coffin."
"You had me at cello."