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Joke of the Day

"I heard somewhere that wanking with a dead arm feels better... Totally ruined that funeral."

"Responsible pet owners pick up their dog's poop. Cool pet owners pick their dogs up from the airport (after their doggy business trips)."

"Boss: why do you deserve this promotion? Me: goes into very in depth pointless rant B: what drugs are you on? Me: good ones *leaves*"

"Morpheus: If you take the red pill, I will show you what the Matrix is. Neo: *ingests pill* Whoa. Morpheus: It's also a powerful laxative."

"Pharmacy employee you're too unhappy for someone who is in control of all the drugs."

"What is the internal temperature of a taun taun? Luke warm!"

"What was the best part of being a blind smallpox inoculator in the 18th century? The great stories you get to read everyday."

"I'm quite confident that the reason i'm single Is because i didn't forward that chain letter in 2008"

"What do you call a seagull that flies by the bay? a bagel"

"You can now buy ""throw back"" Pepsi with real sugar. Where can I find throw back Coca-Cola with real cocaine?"