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Joke of the Day

"What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive right now? Probably clawing at the inside of his coffin."

"I'm pretty great with money. Folks keep calling me and telling me my accounts are outstanding."

"I'm sorry, sir, but your cholesterol isn't high enough to buy this Hawaiian shirt."

"Kids are like tornadoes They're neat to watch but you can't help but be scared when they head for your house"

"People ask me ""Why are you single? You're attractive, intelligent, and have an amazing personality"". My response: ""I'm overqualified""."

"If you're between a rock and a hard place ... Stop using crack."

"Am I capable of premeditated murder? Your honor, I've been planning my cheat day for two weeks."

"Whats the difference between Bob Marley and Heracles? Heracles beat Cancer"

"What's the most embarrassed tree in the forest? Oak wood."

"Why don't witches wear panties? Better grip"