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Joke of the Day

"What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive right now? Probably clawing at the inside of his coffin."

"Remember to turn your clocks back today if you want them to be set to the wrong time."

"So is Walmart a verb now? As in, ""I'm out of clean underwear, so I'm going to have to Walmart it today."""

"[OC] What did Remus Lupin say to Nymphadora Tonks? I'm a-lookin'... And I'm a lycan."

"my cat is wearing a cone & has learned to scoop up his food and let it slide into his mouth and it's giving me serious ideas, folks"

"I recently won a punctuation competition. My prize was an apos-*trophy*."

"I'd date me. But mainly because I put out."

"The non-Spanish version of Ambien is called Amgood."

"Why do women wear white wedding dresses? So the dishwasher can match the refrigerator and stove"

"Why did Jesus fall on the side of the road? Because he was crossed."