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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a grape? Elephant grape sine theta."

"Today i realised why my Dad divorced my mom I saw her driving license. she has an F in sex"

"What sexual position produces the ugliest babies? Go ask your mother."

"My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2 He never talks about it."

"[audition for a vampire tv show] ME: as u can see in my headshots, i'm a vampire CASTING DIRECTOR: theres no one in these photos ME: exactly"

"I'm a hard core Trekkie except instead of Star Trek, alcohol."

"When I was a kid, I really didn't like the idea of having facial hair... ...but now it's starting to grow on me."

"I don't know why these Jehovah's Witnesses won't give me their addresses in case I think of something more to shout at them."

"This 14 yr old girl in the news that is being frozen cryogenically, her Mother wanted to comply with her wishes, but her Father didn't... Does he just have to let it go?.."

"""Mos Def"" is my favorite rapper named after a girl who doesn't actually plan on hanging out with you."