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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a lazy crocodile? A procrastigator (I'm trash)"

"I got called ""vein"" and I'm just like, k not the most vital component of the circulatory system but still essential so thank you"

"Deep down... ...I knew scuba diving wasn't for me."

"Why'd you order the Fish n' Chips? For the Halibut."

"Kim Kardashian makes me long for the days when girls like her were hired to show prizes on game shows and we never had to hear them speak."

"Literature for the blind What did the blind man say when he picked up a cheese grater? This is the most violent story I've ever read!"

"How do you say Thanksgiving in Native American? Last Supper"

"My wife is scrolling through Netflix to see what shows I watched between now and when she asked me to vacuum. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit."

"June Bugs are like College Dropouts They sleep all day, they party at night, and after a month, you don't see them anymore.."

"Women say men get turned on when they nibble on their earlobes. I think it's bollocks. - Jimmy Carr"