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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a lazy crocodile? A procrastigator (I'm trash)"

"home is where the pants aren't"

"Why girls don't have willys Little brother came into the kitchen and declared ""mom, now I know why girls don't have willys! They fall off, and I found yours under your pillow"""

"I overcooked some pasta earlier - it got all soggy and mushy. Making the best of a bad situation, I put it in a mug and tried to down it. I soon gave up though - it was an act of *Fusilli Tea*."

"What are the 2 sexiest farm animals? Brown chicken, brown cow."

"Jamaican space program. Have you heard of the Jamaican space program? they just keep getting higher and higher and higher......"

"TIN MAN: I want a heart COWARDLY LION: And I want courage ZOMBIE: Braaaaains ACTOR PLAYING COWARDLY LION: W-wait. Where the hell'd Ray go?"

"Growing up, I had lots of nicknames but my best would always be 'Officer! That's him over there'... It gave me my sprinter's physique."

"What do you call it when a chameleon can't change colors? Ereptile dysfunction"

"A grasshopper walks into a bar. Bartender looks up and shouts, ""Hey, we have a drink named after you!"" ""You have a drink called Steve?"""