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Joke of the Day
"How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? Fish."
Next Joke
"[first date] *Ok don't let her know you're a vampire* ""Would you like a mint?"" *reaches in pocket, pulls out SPF 5,000,000,000* ""Dammit"""
"How do you keep an imbecile happy all his life ? Tell him a joke when he's a baby !"
"Did Batman know that Alfred was embezzling billions to finance a 4-person Magic act that was a front for robbing banks?"
"Reddit is like a shiny new penny... It's fun to look at but completely worthless"
"I care more about the outcome of sporting events than any other aspect of human existence."
"If I watch a meteor shower Does it feel violated? (x-post shittyaskscience)"
"What did Bose say to Einstein about the weather? It's 0K"
"Whats the difference between an Audi and a porcupine? With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside"
"According to the police, public masturbation is not considered a ""street performance"". Even if you have a hat on the ground on front of you."