89431

Joke of the Day

"What did two twins name a towing company started in lower Manhattan? The Twin Towers."

"Why do the homies call their friend Paragraph? Because he's too short to be an essay"

"Guy comes home to find his best friend in bed with his wife. He says: ""Jimmy, I HAVE to, but you?"""

"Woke up and poured myself a cup of coffee and then took a nap... So no, technically, Ms. Snooty HR, I didn't sleep through my alarm again."

"Saw some cows just standing around in a field doing absolutely nothing. Get a job, hippies."

"Best time to go to the dentist? tooth hurty"

"Thank you Internet stranger for your honorable proposal of marriage. My folks are so excited. They're asking for Thanksgiving and Easter."

"what't the difference between a US election and a bunch of sly midgets? [NSFW] one is a bunch of cunning runts and the other is a bunch of running cunts."

"Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because it couldn't get a date. "

"What's the best part about having multiple personality disorder? Banging your best friend's wife every night!"