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Joke of the Day

"I asked the doctor how much longer I've got. He said, ""A few inches. You clearly enjoy prostate exams."""

"What did the dentist in the porno say? ""Your teeth are the whitest I've come across."""

"Please stop throwing my only possession. ~dogs everywhere"

"A threesome? Nah not for me. If I wanted to horribly disappoint two other people I'd go out to dinner with my parents"

"Why did nVidia built the first self-driving car? (on all conditions) Because their drivers keep crashing."

"I'm a violent sadist, but I also enjoy beastiality. Am I flogging a dead horse?"

"I lost my mood ring.. I'm not sure how i feel about this."

"Two generations that were unable to go to bed without their stuffed animals or blankies now feel the same way about their phones."

"I Support a Woman's Right to Choose Between the Staircase and a Coat hanger"

"Mad Libs inventor died today of POOPING. He is survived by his PIZZA CHEESE and his LAWN DARTS. He will be A DINOSAUR."