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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a person that worships NASCAR? A racist!"
Next Joke
"""You will not marry him! He is not of our kind!"" But we're in love! ""It is forbidden!"" *whale elopes with submarine*"
"I have failed math eleventeen times or so."
"*Leonardo Dicapreo goes up to accept oscar* *pulls out speech* *blows dust off of it* Yes I'd like to thank the directors of titanic for th-"
"We all make mistakes... especially your parents!"
"One time I won a raffle in England, turns out it was for knighthood. Boy was I Sir prized"
"Never iron a four leaf clover... You don't want to press your luck."
"Sperm 1: ""Geez I'm exhausted, how much further to the Fallopian tubes?"" Sperm 2: ""A long way, we've just passed the tonsils..."""
"BOUNCER: *checking ID* this doesn't look like you CATERPILLAR: *adjusts makeshift wings* its me B: oh yeah? Fly then C: uh *starts sweating*"
"Q: Why does Chelsea look so stupid and ugly? A: Heredity."