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Joke of the Day

"It's crazy how much stuff there is to do on my phone when sitting at a restaurant alone."

"I don't like damp things For the moist part"

"Hey guys, have you heard about the new corduroy pillow? It's making head lines!"

"Never heard this joke before... neither will you"

"How do really posh dogs send messages? By predigree-mail."

"Twitter is the only place where it's actually BORING to discover that you are being followed by hundreds of robots."

"Cows... What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef... What do you call a cow with one leg? Lean beef... What do you call a cow with two legs? A Texan..."

"TOO MUCH PROTEIN? No whey mate"

"Did you hear they found a dead ice cream vendor covered in sprinkles? Police are saying he topped himself."

"Have you heard the one about the ceiling fan? Oh, it's over your head."