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Joke of the Day

"My wife says I snore really bad, so I stayed awake all night to see if she if she was right. Turns out she's a liar, I didn't snore once."

"What does a baby computer calls his father? Data."

"I rode a horse today. In other words, I had sex with Sara Jessica Parker"

"I'd never appear on Leno now because I have strict ethical standards, so next time you're watching Leno and you don't see me that's why."

"When you swallow a spider in your sleep, eat some dead flies the morning after to ensure the spider gives you a positive Trip Advisor rating"

"People complain about there being too many GOP presidential candidates, but when Chris Christie quits that will be, like, half the field right there."

"My mom told me this joke the first time she met my gf. What are three 2 letter words meaning small? Is it in?"

"How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce ""unionized""."

"Why are black people always wrong? They have no rights."

"my ex-gf had multiple personalities it was like having sex with a diff woman everynight except the time she turned into some guy named harry"