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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back? A: From crawling across the street when the sign said ""don't walk""."

"A man was recently arrested For having sex with a van. You can say he's... vansexual."

"Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me? Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another."

"The worst part about looking for a job is if you're successful, you end up with a job."

"They should punish kids who do well in school with more homework to prepare them for what happens to people who are efficient at their jobs."

"how much would it cost? ""the guy who does our estimates isn't here right now"" around what time will he be back? ""did you not just hear me?"""

"My love is like a candle, if you forget me, i will burn your fucking house down"

"Guy calls to HR: - Hi. I'd like to discuss IT security specialist position at your company. - Ok. Send your CV, please. - You already have it at your desktop."

"What's an alcoholic's favorite type of soap? Bar soap."

"What do you mean I can't change the past? *logs on to Wikipedia*"