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Joke of the Day
"A Baby Seal Walks Into A Club"
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"Your heart cannot be an American Hero Because I am going to capture it"
"Have you seen the new movie Constipated? It hasn't come out yet"
"Blackjack is just like my love life I always hit on 15"
"Can I buy you a drink? ""I don't drink."" *panics* Oh. Um...well, here's $12."
"How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb? Just two. One to politely ask and the other to politely help."
"Clever Husband. Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: Why Three? Husband: It's for you and your parents."
"You're the only one who understands me, last remaining sleeve of Oreo cookies."
"Feeling bored? Post a status on Facebook that says ""Barack Obama 2016"" and buckle up for the ride of your life."
"My ex told me that I was gonna die alone... I told her she was wrong because I would die while making out with a shotgun."