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Joke of the Day
"What's all pent-up and missing a cunt? Chelsea Manning."
Next Joke
"Just one more week until I can finally eat candy out of my socks again.... without looking weird."
"A policeman just knocked on my door and said my dogs were chasing people on bikes... My dogs don't even own bikes.."
"Are you okay? Yes Did you take your cold medicine? Umm yes Why are you so nervous? I never thought throw pillows would ask so many questions"
"Told my kid that he had a viral infection and now he's excited because he thinks he's going to be famous online."
"""You're odd"" she said. ""Not even"" I replied."
"My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with The Monkeys. I thought she was kidding... ...and then I saw her face."
"Q: Why don't blind people skydive more often? A: It scares the hell out of their dogs."
"A yoga teacher was murdered... ...they're saying it was premeditated."
"What did the American Army General say after the first opposing casualty in the Mexican-American War? Juan down, a million more to go."