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Joke of the Day

"Need help getting these blackheads off my face How do I politely ask these nice African American gentleman to take turns ?"

"Why did the child have two black eyes? Because telling them once wasn't enough."

"A pirate walks into a bar... With a steering wheel on his pants. The bartender says, ""hey what's with the steering wheel?"" and the pirate says, ""Arrgghhh.... it drives me nuts."""

"Once I found out masturbating was an addiction, I just knew that I had no choice but to beat it."

"How Do You Create Artificial Intelligence? Dye a blonde's hair."

"How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just sit in the dark and cry."

"Heinz have altered one of their spicier sauces. It's a remustard version."

"My grandma got breast cancer and is getting a mastectomy. That's certainly a weight off her chest."

"What am I? I have 4 eyes, hundreds of legs, and wings. What am I? A liar."

"I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant.. , but then I changed my mind."