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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a psychic midget that broke out of jail? A small medium at large"

"When I win the lottery I'm getting a pool boy, maybe I'll even get a pool."

"Chef 1: You can't serve cake for breakfast, moms won't allow it. Chef 2: What if we fry it in a pan & pour syrup all over it? 1: GENIUS!"

"If time-outs have tought me anything, It's that doing something wrong gets you time for peace,quiet,and solidarity. In a place called jail."

"Who built King Arthur's round table Sir Cumference"

"""I feel like I got off on the wrong foot."" - Star of a foot fetish flick criticizing his performance"

"Bad news A doctor says to his patient: 'I'm afraid I've got bad news for you. You've got cancer and Alzheimer's disease'. The patient responds: 'Well, at least I don't have cancer'."

"I was eating at a nice dinner last night and realized that we spend a lot of money on something that is just going to turn to shit. But enough about my romantic relationships."

"My roommate was complaining to me that his favorite P!nk song never came on the radio. And i was like, ""so what?"" I'll show myself out."

"Maybe Gotye was an actual goat that sold it's soul for the chance to be a human with a hit song and now he is back to just being a goat"