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Joke of the Day

"Whats Kim Kardashian and the Middle East got in common? Both are covered in oil, huge, and been invaded by the West."

"Me and Julio At Least 500 Feet Away From the Schoolyard"

"My wife asked me to play doctor with her... ...she is now waiting for three hours in front of the bedroom."

"I've been getting bullied... and I've been thinking about suicide. I would simply just drink BULLEACH."

"[at Goodwill store] *buys pants that I gave them 6 months ago*"

"Did you hear the news about the collision between two black holes? It's really making waves."

"Why didn't the shepard cut off his sheep's wool? Shear laziness."

"What's the similarity between eating a girl out and talking to the mafia? A slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit."

"My wife hasn't said a word to me in 6 days. What's even better is, she thinks it's punishment."

"I'm having an out-of-money experience."