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Joke of the Day

"My favorite part of the date is when I tell her that I want her to have my kids. And then I give them to her, all 3 of them."

"I'm not saying the wife's a bit rough but you can see all the blokes on the beach dressing her with their eyes."

"I used to date a Mobius stripper... ...I broke up with her when I found out that she would never stop."

"If all the good ones are taken and you are single, what does that make you?"

"I didn't get the joke about the hot air balloon. I think it was over my head."

"Owls The worst thing about owls is the way that they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave."

"What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air ? A seahorse !"

"Why did the midget laugh while walking across the field? Because the grass tickled his balls."

"What kind of pictures do hermit crabs take? Shellfies"

"The lord said to John ""Come forth and receive eternal life""... But John came in fifth and won a toaster instead."