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Joke of the Day

"I'm not allowed to watch Hoarders anymore because people say ""let it go"" too often and then I can't stop singing it, an autobiography."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Con ! Con who? Con unhinged !"

"Yes I read reddit on the toilet I do it for shits and giggles"

"Heaven is like arriving at Disneyland. Hell is like still being at Disneyland three weeks later."

"Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement... ...in the end, you ignore it all and click ""I agree""."

"The lesbians next door gave me a Rolex for my birthday. very nice, but i think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch!"

"Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Well, it's really nice."

"Coldplay have been arrested. They played ""Clocks""."

"I have sychic powers. For example, right now you're thinking, ""it's psychic."""

"Funniest Joke Ever. Nevermind, it actually isn't that funny. Ok well... A bear and a rabbit... No no... It's not that funny. Nevermind."