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Joke of the Day
"Heaven is like arriving at Disneyland. Hell is like still being at Disneyland three weeks later."
Next Joke
"What's John Lennon's favorite card game? Yoko Uno"
"What's worse than biting an apple and finding a worm? biting an apple and finding half a worm"
"A mushroom walks into a bar... A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says ""whoa there, little guy! Didn't you see the sign? No mushrooms allowed!"" The mushroom says ""why not?! I'm a fun guy!"""
"Why do japanese have small eye slits? because nuclear explosions are so fucking bright. (i'm going to hell for this)"
"*Removes smoke detector battery **Cooks in silence"
"Considering how badly Asians drive, I got to thinking. Maybe Pearl Harbor was an accident."
"I left my phone by my side while I was sleeping with an app to ""ding"" every time it recognizes a person that looks like me It ""dinged"" all night."
"What's better than roses on my piano? Tulips on my organ!"
"I decided to show off my six pack on Tinder. Budweiser is not getting me any dates."