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Joke of the Day

"Mum why am i getting my Christmas present in August? Because its cheaper than chemo."

"I like my women like I like my panic attacks Ready to fuck me without a moment's notice"

"What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged a little"

"Good news, The doctor says I'm health as a horse. Bad news, she keeps using large farm animals to describe me."

"What's a penguins favorite relative? His Aunt Artica!"

"What do a Professional Fifa Player and a Rapist have in common? They're both going to score, even if you don't want them to."

"What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur Traders"

"How long does it take for a GNOME developer to take a shit? I don't know, how long until the next version of GNOME?"

"What's the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom? A pick-pocket snatches watches."

"What did one bum cheek say to the other? After all that shit we're still together."